Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
