K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
