I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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