i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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