She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
