I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
