I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
