If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
