Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
