hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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