Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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