they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
