I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
