He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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