True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
