Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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