Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
