why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
