yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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