I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
