For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
