brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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