I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I want to have your abortion
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
