God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
