Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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