I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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