just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you had me at cake vodka
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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