i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
