Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
