Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
