I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
