I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
