she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
