Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
