so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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