tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
