i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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