we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
