Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
