butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
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