dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
