4 words: hood of his car
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
