I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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