actually, I'm a sock model
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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