After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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