Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
