i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
