Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
