the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
