If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
