I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
