i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
we're so committed to being not committed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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